Sep 8 2018

(In)tolerance

I’ve been thinking about resistance. I’m thinking about the things or causes that I believe in and would and do fight for. Or do my best to support.

Today added to my thinking are tolerance or intolerance and their relationship to hypocrisy. Full on sibling or half-sibling? Hmm…?

I’m thinking or wondering how does one speak their opinion of a cause without retribution, name-calling or fear.

I am not very often direct. Fully admitting to the passive-aggressive approach. That is probably a mistake. Some may disagree with that. But in the grand scheme, I am more silent than I probably should be as is evident by the many, many “drafts” in Notes, email, etc. Seriously, you should see the number count in comparison to when I have actually said something.

I was more or less direct a few weeks back and stated the reasons on a FB page why I did not support the Kavanaugh nomination. The reply from a woman in AZ who doesn’t know me any more than I could know her replied, idiot.

Anyway…I know I’m not an idiot. But I also have enough self-awareness that I can’t know enough to be so sure and bold as to put it out there the way some of you do.

Intolerance – unwillingness to accept views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one’s own.

Tolerance – the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular, the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

In my opinion, I often read people in a hypocritical argument talking tolerance while being intolerant. Slippery slope. How does one navigate that?

Why is our choice of the damnation of another where we go with our differences?

We live in a country that allows us to freely have these opinions I thought without retribution unless it breaks the law.

And does anyone think that by blasting their opinion over and over and over again will change the opinion or conversation of very large and hot point topics?

I’m not saying stop voicing your opinion but maybe it’s the delivery. Maybe it’s how you present it when it sounds like you haven’t given any consideration to the other side. And when the other side is for the most part POC and those most often disenfranchised. What are the rest of is to think about your strong opinion when there is no hint of tolerance in your opposition? Or the opinion slides into an opinion that is far-reaching and dangerous for those who are already in some cases just trying to live.

We can’t have it both ways. We can’t think we are tolerant and expect everyone to tolerate our opinion if we frame it with the vitriol and baseless foundation that much seems to be formed on.

In the documentary, RGB Justice Ginsberg says about her time at Harvard, if you were called on in class and you didn’t perform well you were failing not just for your self but for all women. Take that out of its context and consider everything that you believe to be right or just. Think about the person you are vehemently disagreeing with and where their opinion is coming from. Why are they fighting an injustice? And why are you perceiving it not to be an injustice?

Understanding takes time, commitment and I think an extraordinary effort to set aside yourself listen and feel the pain and discomfort of others. Feel it as much as you can. Remove you from the scenario. If only we could walk in another’s shoes so as to not be so short sighted of others plight.

Actually most often, you can’t actually know or understand the scenario. Often, honestly, I see the argument against a person of color or a class that is being disenfranchised by an establishment as most maddening to the person who is opposing the cause rather than the person or persons it actually affects.

Ok, so I’ll get specific. The Flag. Honestly, I don’t think of the “flag” that often because it is an object. And I feel that we have taken a singular one-track idea of what that object represents. My family has always had one. How many didn’t have one until after 9/11?

The Flag. I was going to give you the link I found in my search, then decided, you’re on the internet go Google it yourself and see what you come up with.

The flag does not mean one thing. Stripes represent colonies stars states. “The colors of the flag are symbolic as well; red symbolizes hardiness and valor, white symbolizes purity and innocence, and blue represents vigilance, perseverance, and justice.”

Here’s another; “Very often, the colors used in a flag represent the values of that country (or other entity). Black often represents determination, ethnic heritage, and/or defeating one’s enemies. Blue often represents freedom, vigilance, perseverance, justice, prosperity, peace, and/or patriotism.”

I’ll repeat part of that; Black often represents determination, ethnic heritage, and/or defeating one’s enemies. Determination comes in all forms. The determination to create a space where people like yourself truly have the freedom and equality that all have, not just a certain few.

I find it rather curious that while arguing about the flag, it’s rarely mentioned that prior to 2009 NFL players didn’t come out onto the field until after the anthem. Then the military paid for that to change. Paid patriotism. What do you do with that? So a very large organization or company pays for that thing you have an opposing opinion of and lack of unanimous approval or acceptance is seen as, well…just do it. We can’t have it both ways. Paid patriotism? Why is that acceptable?

Please disagree, don’t like this or that. But don’t tell others they can’t. Or how they should feel about something. Especially if what is happening really has no physical or economic effect on you. That’s what, if anything the flag means to me.

Maybe do something constructive to change it. But sharing a divisive article and posting your outrage on FB, honestly says more about you than what you have posted. Especially to those who see the injustice, for POC, women, the poor and disenfranchised. And just perpetuates the division.

How does one respect something or someone who will take every opportunity to disrespect anyone, anything without hesitation?

We take objects or amendments, or ideas, or ideology and add or mix their meaning as we move through and navigate the world and we forget where things came from and the history that it represents. Just like the bible and taking it ALL literally or just what fits our current argument against something we disagree with.

Another short quote from RGB, “or striving for a more perfect union.” I’ll not say more to that because I believe if you know me or pay attention to what I do say from time to time you will know what that means to me.

I don’t understand a lot of things. But I try really hard to listen and read all I can. Sometimes that reading is uncomfortable. But I feel I must read it.

I read the book Radical Dharma by, Rev. angel Kyodo williams, Lama Rod Owens and Dr. Jasmine Syedullah There were parts that were very uncomfortable. But I believe it was an uncomfortable I had to feel, I needed to feel to even try to get to a place of understanding.

Now I’m reading Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism From The Inside Out, by Ruth King who invites us to: Tend first to our suffering and confusion, listen to what it is trying to teach us, and direct its energies most effectively for change. 

She writes about and lists what whites typically say(guilty) and what POC commonly say. I haven’t finished it yet, but so far there is a lot of good in the book. For example;

“Why is white group identity important to acknowledge and investigate? The answer is simple—relatively speaking, it exists. To avoid this examination is white privilege. Most people growing in racial consciousness would consider it major progress for the human race if white people were to not only recognize themselves as a racial group, with a collective history of dominance and privilege but also to become attentively curious and diligent about how, as a race, they have become dis-membered as a group body as a result of that privilege. This inquiry would be a wholesome and healing use of privilege that supports bridging separation within white communities and between whites and humanity at large.”

“Common to all of us is the fact that we don’t see the world as it is but how we have been conditioned to see it. The delusion we carry is that everyone sees—or should see—the world as we do.”

“But when I look at you, I don’t see race.” As an African American woman, this well-meaning comment from the lens of the white individual renders my experience as a racial group member invisible, my history whitewashed, and my people at continued risk. It’s an innocence I can’t afford to have. When whites don’t see race when they look at me, they see me as an individual, just as they see themselves. In doing so, they deny my racial identity and group history—a history that their racial group is a part of subordinating. Given that my racial group identity has been historically denied respectful visibility and equality, such a statement, and many like them, is more an insult than a compliment.”

Guilty. Guilty.

So let’s be careful and not get ahead of our understanding. Or think that we have read enough to have an understanding. Let’s not question others way of dealing with the harm they feel from words, looks or even history that can’t seem to right itself to equality.

There are over seven billion people in the world. So at least seven billion opinions. How in the world will you make yours different or worthy of a true, honest respectful conversation? A. Conversation. Don’t make me define that for you.

Peace

-Jinpa Datso


Jun 27 2018

Dear Uncle – unearthed

I would guess late 80’s to early 90’s. Partial letter, unedited;

This world as I see it, through eyes that are naive and sheltered is a world of turmoil, anguish, death, pain, love. This world is full of families that do not talk to each other. A world full of people with fears, anxieties, and misunderstanding. Why is it that some need to create more tension around themselves? How can I be an example to people, do I have the right to attempt to be an example? Am I worthy, what can I offer to those around me to make them understand or see that tension is not necessary, not required.

Every day I feel a desire to become secluded and isolated not because I want to forget the work and those around me, I just need some time to think. Some time to reflect on what I am doing, what has happened to me and what I need to do next. I don’t know where this need comes from at times I think it comes from my head. Other times it comes from deep within my soul at a place I am so unfamiliar with. a place that I have so little knowledge of. My hunger to discover this place overwhelms me at times and makes me impatient makes me restless. Making me feel that somehow I have a power to carry the calm, peacefulness that I believe we all desire to somehow display a better life and influence. That’s probably asking a lot of myself. I think that my life is too cluttered with things and think that these things are what has caused part of that problem. That I need to make my life simpler.

The questions, are there too many? Do the questions add to my confusion? Are the answers as important as I feel that they are? My train of thought is weak now I’m not putting together ideas, my thoughts are broken. Apart of me believes or things that a broken family means a broken person. So how can I be complete? When I say broken, I don’t mean through divorce like is usually attached to broken family. Broken through detachment, separation and again confusion. A part of my life I sometimes so badly wish would just go away, leave my thoughts, leave my soul. I long for a cleansing. It fills my dreams, my thoughts, my daily life, sometimes consuming me. For so long my life was my life, they were my life. The life I lived as a child. Yet, I was not their life. Otherwise, how could they have questioned and doubted me so. My pain, my intent.


Jun 26 2018

Looking back, 5.26.18

Matthew ~ Luke ~ James

Matthew 7:1-5 ~
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Luke 6:37-42 ~
37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” 39 He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? 40 The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher. 41 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

James 4:11-12 ~
11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Luke 6:31-36 ~
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. 32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

These mean something to me. I guess you could say I take these literally. Which is a hard statement for me to process because I don’t take this book that was written centuries ago in its entirety literally? I just can’t.

As a Buddhist, I also don’t take books about the Dharma or the Buddha literally because of how long ago they were transcribed. Because words are lost in translation and what was happening then that needed attention. But I can, hopefully, intellectually and with an open compassionate heart assimilate it to today, at this moment. And use it to be respectful of others.

How do you pray for things?

What kind of things do you “pray” for?

Are these questions you or I should have to answer to or for anyone?

For me, this brings in the question of respect.

What is prayer?
“a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship.”

How do you support or work to pull attention to things that are important to you?

Would you risk your entire future and livelihood to bring attention to what you believe to be an injustice? Many are right now and many object. Why?

A kneel is a kneel is a kneel. Unless you time it incorrectly in someone else’s eye. I’d want to take a close look at the heart behind that eye.

“This is the tale of two Christian sports personalities, one of whom is the darling of the American church while the other is reviled. And their differences reveal much about the brand of Christianity preferred by many in the church today.”

The flag ~
Literally, the thirteen stripes on the flag represent the thirteen original colonies. The fifty stars represent the fifty current states. Figuratively, the flag stands for freedom and democracy. It represents the unity of America, our common cause, and the hope for a better tomorrow.

In some of my “stuff”, I came across these two small stickers. A little smaller than a business card a bit bigger than a stamp. Is it code?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_the_United_States

“The Flag Code prohibits using the flag “for any advertising purpose” and also states that the flag “should not be embroidered, printed, or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions, handkerchiefs, napkins, boxes, or anything intended to be discarded after temporary use”.[84] Both of these codes are generally ignored, almost always without comment.

Section 8, entitled Respect For Flag states in part: “The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery”, and “No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform”. Section 3 of the Flag Code[85] defines “the flag” as anything “by which the average person seeing the same without deliberation may believe the same to represent the flag of the United States of America”.

An additional part of Section 8 Respect For Flag, that is frequently violated at sporting events is part (c) “The flag should never be carried flat or horizontally, but always aloft and free.”

Huh? ⬆️ that last little paragraph I have trouble with, especially with what follows ⬇️. You know that whole freedoms of speech thing. It seems after the fact. I am sure it’s been added recently and has not always been part of the ‘code’. You tell me.

Although the Flag Code is U.S. federal law, there is no penalty for a private citizen or group failing to comply with the Flag Code and it is not widely enforced—indeed, punitive enforcement would conflict with the First Amendment right to freedom of speech.[86] Passage of the proposed Flag Desecration Amendment would overrule legal precedent that has been established.”


Jun 26 2018

Looking back, 5.25.18

Just because you don’t like it.

Just because it doesn’t fit in your box.

Just because you wish it weren’t true.

Does not make it fake or not a truth.


Jun 26 2018

Looking back, 5.10.18

I don’t feed the trolls ever. I was tempted this time.

So. She is a woman, I am a woman and that is all that is necessary to accept her unquestionably and say thumbs up and support her?

I think not Steve.

The dumbest argument today.

So. Since she is a woman and I am a woman I should just support her? That how she would handle a crisis situation in times of war shouldn’t be questioned male or female? And that by her ideas seem to be diametrically opposed to mine, I can’t say no to her because we are both women?

Again – DUMBEST argument today.

Does he accept the actions of every male because he is a male? Maybe? Can I guess by his comment that he voted for Trump and is not a fan of anyone who didn’t? I had said, Democrats, but I am hard pressed to say that ONLY Democrats voted for Hilary and that only Republicans voted for Trump.

Would he vote for and support any male just because they are male? I think he may have…


Jun 26 2018

Looking back, 4.25.18

Lots of people say lots of things about what is missing today here or there.

What is missing is respect. Respect in word, speech, and deed.

Something my parents taught me by example.

At our very best if we respect each other even in the midst of a difference of opinion, imagine, just imagine what that might do for our discourse? If we continue to disrespect, dehumanize, call each other names and normalize that for no other reason than our differences…well.

I believe that respect is at an astonishingly all time low and I wonder if we can recover.

But I will commit 110% to honorable mutual respect in all ways. And if that makes me a snowflake, how beautiful they are.


Jun 26 2018

Looking back, 4.20.18 #2

This one I feel is a bit risky, but here goes.

I am not having a very good day.

I am letting my brain and maybe my imagination takes over a bit.

I think I’d get it if weed made me paranoid and I’d been smoking, but I don’t smoke. And it’s been awhile since the lack of protein sets me off. (heh, wrote this on 4/20…)

I guess I have to put it out there (or here) so that it isn’t a reality.

But my gut is telling me that someone has said something that is sabotaging my job hunt. I don’t know why, but it just feels like it. It feels like that I go down a bit of a path and then it just stops. Silence. Crickets…actually not even crickets.

I know that people are busy. Even gave one the easy way out by saying she didn’t have to reply. Probably a mistake. But that seems like something I don’t even have to do. They just don’t reply. Even one who reached out to connect have a call then went dead silent. I think that one was the one that sent me down this path. Because it’s a company that someone recommended me to before who has, in my opinion, pulled away. Btw, reached out a second time to connect. Nothing.

In the past, my network has worked so well for me. Did being honest about this company or that person turn into my name on some sort of weird blacklist?

I can’t get my head out of it. Even told two friends last week in the biz that I thought that. I think they are the two I can trust? I hope?

But then as I think about it. Why would I want to work with people who discount me because I told the truth about something? It has to be the fear, for example, as to the reason for my one exit and how ridiculous it was that they don’t want it being told what was said to me. And how I’ve had one job since then and they have had 3 maybe 4.

I don’t know. Truly I’d rather never work with or be around most of them, but I do need to work. And I’m just not sure if that will happen.


Jun 26 2018

Looking back….

I write a lot. But I rarely write here.

So I have decided, in an effort to put or get myself out there, I will move many of my “notes” to here so that the one or two people who might show up here randomly to read will have something new to read.

It also might help in the event that all other efforts to save said writing explode and everything is lost in the cloud…

So…here I go!


Jun 26 2018

Looking back, 4.20.18

You very firmly believe what you believe is right. And to a certain degree believe that it is right for everyone. EVERYONE.

Think about that. I’ll wait.

You are you and I am me. I have opinions as well. Here is where I think there is a difference.

I don’t believe that everything I believe is right for everyone. Because everyone is not me.

I don’t have children so there are lots of things that I either pay taxes for or that I do for children because it’s the right thing to do.

I am not married so my taxes are different than my friends who are married. And different because I don’t have dependents. So I guess I put up with that because somehow that is different. Even though I don’t get it.

I have been unemployed several times in the last 20 years and I have taken advantage of services that as an employee I and my companies have paid into. And while unemployed it is my intention to not just take a “job” to get off unemployment. So I may exhaust my claim being strategic about my search risking the self-righteous saying I am being lazy while not knowing a single thing about me all because someone started a fable years ago about a person of color being a welfare queen. My opinion, this person does not exist.

You think that people using help from human services should have to drug screen to get the funds. Have you taken the time to read that is an enormous waste of the very money you are complaining about being spent? That the number of people or this does not affect the overall results? And if you think these people should be tested, what about the others you are paying the salary for, Senate, Congress, city, state officials, the President! What is the difference? Drug screen and background them all, then maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today. Corrupt up to the eyeballs.


Feb 11 2018

Walking

Today I watched a woman be walked by her dog. Seriously. She went left the dog when right…so she went right. The dog stopped, she kept going…she stopped. She started to move the dog stayed…she stayed. She went right the dog went left…so she went left. Isn’t the person supposed to guide the dog on a walk?

Anyway.

I also notice on my walks the signs in my neighborhood. You can’t really walk a block without seeing it.

I think about it a lot. It’s content, it’s intent.

Love wins. Love will win. If we tried just a teeny bit harder. And in my opinion, until love wins, no one wins.

What does love mean? Have we overused the word? I don’t think so, we just need to be true to it. There are a lot of things that I don’t love, but I care enough to be respectful and kind. Being dismissive, mean, or condescending can only promote that. What we accept and tolerate is where we will be.

Sometimes when I think about this I get overwhelmed like when I’m in a place that is dark and at night I can look up at the stars and after a few minutes be taken by how far we are from the rest of everything. How sometimes we take for granted and see ourselves as superior to others. I also sometimes think, are we just the toys in a little girls doll house world in an galaxy far away and we are really ants.

I watch, read and hear what is out there. I think sometimes what you people say or post out there on the interwebs, says more about them than they actually recognize. I read name calling, referencing expletives when talking about another and usually someone I am pretty sure they don’t know. So you are taking the word of another that you don’t really know for speaking truth about someone they probably really don’t know either. But something that person has said or done in their own life somehow now has become the duty of the other person to pass judgement and dispersion, trial, jury and judge. We really are smarter than that. So what is it that gets you so?

Yes we do have a problem with accusation and innuendo, but how do we self correct?

I believe like our government, we have to get so low, go so far past rock bottom because we are entirely too stubborn to admit that we may not be right and that there may be another way.

Try this for a week, with everything you read, see or hear, may your first thought be, love wins. Then think how you feel about what you just read saw or heard.

How ‘bout it. Where do you want to be? If love doesn’t win, what does? If we don’t care enough, what happens? If we don’t care what is said about others how can we care about what is said about ourselves.

Like I said the other day, I’ll protect your voice if you protect mine. Let’s just make sure we are protecting a kinder and gentler voice. The same voice we want for ourselves one of compassion and love.

Love.