He used the “N” word!

And said to me that I needed to embrace my inner narcissism. How the hell do I do that?

I had dinner with a friend on Wednesday night. It’s always an interesting meeting up with MM. We met when I was a recruiter a few years back. Not that I’m not still a recruiter, but I do other things too. I think he called me after applying to a position and asked if we could meet so he could find out more about the company. Of course I said yes. But then I’m crazy that way!

He said to me before dinner that I needed to embrace my narcissistic side. He said that was my problem, I wasn’t narcissistic enough. GAD! That was after he told me my tweets were half-hearted. I don’t disagree! Kinda refreshing when someone is straight with you.

Narcissism is a noun, an inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
4. The attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

Did I find a typo on dictionary.com?

I guess I’m not crazy this way. I have for many years easily navigated the life that is mine with the idea that, it’s not about me. Well, it’s not. So I ask again, how do I do that?!

I like myself, might even say I love myself. But excessive, yeah that doesn’t feel right.

I feel like there is more to this than these few words here. But I don’t think I’ve processed it in its entirety. I mean, on a certain level, I get it. But actually I don’t.

Hmm, I’m thinking this post is lame, but I’m determined to post everyday this month. And I don’t actually think this one fit’s the theme, MITZVAH. But it is what it is.

I guess I could say that the act of kindness was his honesty. And how I don’t think some see the benefit in that kind of honesty and would take something like that personally. Well it is personal, but you have to glean from that what it means to you the person. And how someone might think enough of you to push you a certain way or a direction that you yourself didn’t think you could go. Or needed to go.

I think I have to think about this some more.


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