don't speak...don't speak!


Deep reflection is not a new space for me.  Writing things down is not new either.  Actually putting them out to be seen by anyone is still something I don’t do that often.  Some of you may disagree.  If I showed you my Cloud, Notes, email drafts and old blogs no one knows about. I think you would get it.

I almost let someone silence me recently because they twisted my words to lash out at me for something and I questioned my ability to articulate a thought. I am not a bad person, I do deserve respect and I will continue to fight for equality for everyone in all aspects of life.  And I will speak out.

I’ve been called sardonic, yes.  I’ve been called judicious, yes.  I’ve been called dark, yes.  I’ve been called solid, no.  But never, “this tells me that you don’t want anyone to have freedom of choice, not women in danger, or any person who wants to have freedom of choice”.  What?? At least to my face and uh, not what I said. 

Oh, ‘I’ve been called solid, no’. In case you are wondering. This is my shield, my protection. No I am not solid. In reality, I am a melting mess 75% of the time. Kind of like this post. And it is exhausting even in normal times.  But now?  Family stuff, COVID, racial injustice, division over things like science and a cloth to protect each other from a virus that’s killed… where does it end? It will not end.

I will however acknowledge that how I reacted to what is happening in Texas, maybe could have been done in a better way. That said,  my question stands and more or less is saying, maybe not asking, what’s the next law another state will pass that infringes  on the rights of its citizens.  And now the DOJ agrees.

Ironically, that was exactly my point of the post I shared and my words were twisted.  I do absolutely expect that if not stopped our freedoms will be whittled away by white men trying to control what they have no legal, or moral right to.  Period!  

So here it is.

Ironic – The expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

Sarcasm- The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

Which is why this;

“Private individuals in Texas can now sue anyone who performs or aids banned abortions, including doctors and even an Uber driver taking a patient to an abortion clinic. Plaintiffs, who need not have any connection to the matter, can win $10,000 in damages.” NYTimes

Made me say this; 

So, can I sue someone for not getting a COVID vaccine?  What if they infect a love one who then dies?  Seems like I should be able to do that.


Sotomayer’s Defiant Dissent  

Honestly, this is what I believed happened. Psychological projection a defense mechanism in which the ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves and attributing them to others.[1] A bully may project their own feelings of vulnerability onto the target, or a person who is confused may project feelings of confusion and inadequacy onto other people. Projection incorporates blame shifting and can manifest as shame dumping.[2] Projection has been described as an early phase of introjection.[3]

We live in very trying times.  We are pitted against each other with falsehoods and misinformation.  Not so long ago I said, assumptions are killing us. 

Your belief is not right for every one. Your truth with out credible facts that can be referenced or even offered are not truth but your opinion.  Of which you are entitled to. However;

These are my opinions.  And I would fight to the end to say that my opinions or thoughts are a fight for freedoms for everyone on this planet.  Especially for those I love.  There is a minority ruling the majority right now and that is scary and the consequences feel evil.

My truth may not be yours, but I believe they are rooted in the fair an equal treatment of every human being on this planet.  Do you not want that?  Or do you want more than your neighbor or the person across the office or passing you in the aisle of the grocery?

I believe we all do want the best for others, but un-investigated or acknowledged bias within each of us does impact how that best is defined and how we see it in others.  (My opinion, maybe. Or a truth).

There are many things that worry me because of the potential downstream impact on humans.  Regardless of the side of the aisle you are on, when laws start getting past to restrict freedoms, they won’t just be the one you agree with.

If a state, Texas can pass a law like this, my point or my reaction was the lunacy of this.  What’s next? We are in precarious times and the slopes are slippery.

~Legal Defense Fund statement on Supreme Court decision.

The social media  platform is a hit and run environment. Don’t hit and run.  Be brave enough to look me straight in the eye if you are going to accuse me of being someone that I am not.

You know that Maya Angelou quote?

Wrote about that last time cause I’m having trouble with “This”.

Except for a few years in my late teens of radical fundamental christian self-righteousness judgement, I am who you met the first time.  Maybe I was a bit guarded or you may have even thought me aloof.   But I am me. An introvert who keeps her circle small and loves that if I don’t want to I don’t have to leave my house.

Saying the last couple of weeks have been deep reflection is an understatement. In the beginning my reflection immediately lead me to believe I should be silent.  No more posts, no more commentary on the injustice I see today.  No one needs to hear from me.  And I know I’m not going to change anyones mind. 

I would like to think that albeit my delivery is sometimes, sardonic or sarcastic or even ironic, you know me and know what I meant.

I used to say that I was more silent than verbal because I often had this deep feeling that my words had no value or no one was ready to hear what I had to say, therefore I saved my words. Literally.  Or who would care what I thought.  I would save them until someone was ready.  

One has already decided that I am no longer the person they thought I was. A message to her. Nothing is further from the truth.  But your opinion is yours and yours alone.  While wrong, I will respect that.  And no matter what, I will be here if and when you call.

I imagine they might not read this, but I want this to be clear, my post was trying to point out the lunacy of a government  passing laws and regulating what choices a woman makes for herself.  New Texas law removes that right and  allows someone, anyone to sue anyone helping  a woman or child get an abortion.  At its very worst, a father can rape his daughter no matter her age then sue if she tries to abort a child as result of that rape.  As I read somewhere,  this is a blueprint for other states to follow suit. 

My friend Ken said,

Thanks Ken!

Sometime in their own struggles or pain, others will project their fears, their struggles onto you.  They will judge you and question your core.  I nearly let this happen and it almost silenced me. While an important time of reflection and thought about what is important to me, I will not be silenced or manipulated to conform to another’s self projection on who I am.  

A conversation does not happen in the comments section, DM or email.  They happen face to face, a conversation.  A talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged. The other is noise and pointless.  If you want to question something I say and don’t have my number to call to meet, then ask me for it. And yes, I’m a little guilty here with this post.

I was raised as and am a bleeding heart liberal for god’s sake! Not a radicalized version of anything. Well, in liberal terms I guess.

When I see something and respond, or react, it comes directly from core.  My desire for fair and equal treatment of all humans period.  And in the reason for this post, my ridiculous response to a ridiculous law. 

Yet we don’t live in a fair society.  While many are saying don’t take my freedoms they are supporting taking freedoms away from others and can’t see past their ego or fears.  How does EVERYONE not see that? We are a mess. And Texas…

Side bar – I’m also a bit unsettled about the vaccine mandate. I need time to rattle that around and might come back later. Right now I will say, what about my right to live and work is a safe place free of a virus that is deadly. How am I protected if others aren’t?

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