Category: rant

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rant

7.27.23

Out loud I have a hard time saying most of this. Even thinking about it sometimes it’s hard to breath.  So saying it out loud, having the words leave my body even when I’ve tried with Mel, my throat closes and I stop.  I can’t do it.

I know I did what needed to be done.  I know it was the right thing to do under the circumstance, but.

It will be a very long time, if ever before I will get past feeling what I felt that day I helped Dad pack a suitcase, drove him to the building for lunch so that after they could take him to his/their new room.  That feeling will be with me for a very long time.  No matter how often someone says or even I say it to myself, it was the right thing to do, I had to do it.  I had to take what at that time he knew as his life, his freedom. Then to explain where the car keys were, then where the car was.  More than once.

There is nothing anyone can say or will be able to say ever that will make that right on my heart.  I didn’t want to do it, never wanted to have to do it, yet I did.  I had to be the one to walk him out of his house with a small suitcase to deliver him to a room with a chair and then a few pictures.  As scary or dangerous as it might have been, would he still be here because he had the muscle memory to do his daily routine of see Mom, get lunch, go home and watch sports.

Regardless of others around it was a feeling of complete isolation and what for me, while certainly less than some, my own trauma that turned me upside down and inside out.

That feeling, I’m not sure will ever leave no matter what you or anyone says, period. In fact someone saying you did the right thing, is just irritating.  

Mom was different, I think she was more resigned and maybe had enough reality then to know it had to happen.  She didn’t fight it or question it.  While it does nothing to help me, my hope is that Dad more often didn’t remember rather than remembering. 

Then everything that came with that.  A new job, full time job and a full time job just trying to do right for them and at every turn someone saying no.  Someone questioning every single action or attempt to get for them what was rightfully theirs. Like I was just trying to scam everyone.

Then I had to be happy and on for work 40 hours a week, with that mixed in the middle since all of those agencies for Mom and Dad only have regular hours 9-5 Mon – Friday, eastern time.  Like everyone lives in the time zone and has ALL the time in the world to sit on hold then answer all the security questions like you are new every time.  Even when they called me on my number that I GAVE them…please verify and confirm who you are.  FU was what I wanted to say.

Yes, I am mad.  Mad that I had to do it all with no help.  Moral support fails and through this, was no help.  Words to rally on fueled the anger.  More emotions I had to bury, keep to myself.  Why should anyone else have to feel what I was feeling?  

Then work, a phone call with a candidate.  Smile on my face, be nice and act like I actually give a fuck that they might be the perfect person for the job we are talking about.  A call with Long Term Care robots asking the same damn questions they did the week before, questioning every dime.  Then a phone call with a candidate, always on video, so smile on my face….I am exhausted. 

It seemed that it all then trickled into me just trying to do simple things.   Nothing could just   be done, it had to have some level of complication, question or just plain, no you can’t do it that way.   No straight line from A to B, it was all over the alphabet.  A few times I even bucked up and went into a call saying as the phone rang, this will go well, this will be easy, this will work in my favor.  And no.  There was no escape of the can’t (sorry Grandma) and the ridiculous.  

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rant

Deeper…

Words have power. We all know that. I hope. But after reading a few posts the morning after the election, reading beyond here, I’m not sure.

Considering the results, comments and responses are telling and speak volumes whether anyone thinks they do or not. Some are blind to their own hypocrisy.

Be careful out there, you’re not doing yourself any favors by how you speak of another human being. I’ve kept my mouth shut about your President and those on the right. He and you may be the ones who need to dial back your rhetoric about those whose opinions are contrary to yours and realize that this is America land of the free and is a democracy, not an autocracy.

I see the world, rather I am attempting to see the world through the eyes of what some might call an inclusive compassionate warrior. A title I aspire too. Even when I see your hateful and demeaning language about another, I will protect you as I will them. But will ask, is it necessary? Does it make you feel better?

So how about we don’t call others names or diminish them on FB or any other forum. How about we give everyone the respect and credit we want for ourselves and those we align with ideologically. How about we listen to understand and we speak to join rather than divide. How about we insist ALL our “elected” officials do the same. How about we call each and every one of them out and tell them we don’t approve of the tone or the language period! Tell them to stop! All the way to the top!

Because from where I sit, the name calling, disrespect and finger pointing does not have us on a favorable path by any stretch.

I truly believe that we are in the divide we are today because of the behavior, the words and actions of the man the electrical college handed the most honorable and respected position in America. A man who falls short of both. And if you are going to give him a pass, morally, ethically, approve and adopt his tone and tenor, my questions for you run deep. Actually. Seriously, questions that should not have to be asked!

#NOTMYPRESIDENT

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don't speak...don't speak! rant

Sometimes….

Sometimes after I’ve read someone’s Facebook post, I want to reply. But I don’t. Mostly because I know or feel I know what the response will be because of what they posted and have posted. And usually, my heart will ache with the first thing I read, so hearing more of the same can’t help.

So I write. I hide behind Notes or put it here. I’m pretty sure not even my Mom comes here anymore because of lack of content. 🙂

It kind of feels safe. And it allows me to explore, vent, rant, sort or whatever you want to call it.

Often my thoughts, my words are scrambled and I try to unscramble them. Not always successful.

People keep using, or I keep seeing this word tolerant or tolerance. I even struggled through a post a week or so back about tolerance or intolerance.

Here is a scramble;

Can you point a finger at intolerance while being intolerant?

Can you be tolerant while complaining about intolerance?

When you call out intolerance are you being tolerant or intolerant?

You’re either tolerant or you are not. Can be both, period.

Can you claim you are tolerant while complaining about intolerance?

I wanted to say, or ask.

I think our understanding of tolerance is askew. Are you truly tolerant of my stance on my opinion that 1) our current President due to character and demeanor is not fit for the office? Are you tolerant of my opinion that 2) Kavanaugh despite the recent allegations and his demeanor, due to the fact that he has lied under oath in the past and had to bring the Clintons up, is not fit for the highest court in the land? (Seriously?!) Are you tolerant of my opinion that 3) the self-righteous indignation of Grassley and Graham are out of bounds and a reach outside of reality and are the definition of hypocrisy? Are you tolerant of 4) my opinion that a woman should be able to have control over what does or doesn’t happen to her body? Are you tolerant of 5) my opinion that what has happened to Dr. Ford is a travesty and I now have a shorter list of women I believe I would feel comfortable with going to if this happened to me?

I didn’t reply. I know what the answer would be. It feels blind faith for the wrong reason has taken over. The single issue voter, the single issue supporter. That’s what if feels like to me.

I have my set of beliefs as do you as does every single human on this planet.

Again, I believe that a man to be appointed to a lifetime seat who has, lied under oath(before this), brought partisanship into his rebuttal and displayed a temperament unbecoming the honor of that seat, should not be appointed. After his presentation, I wouldn’t hire him for anything.

Are you ok with my opinion and are you tolerant of it?

So I guess I’m a bit intolerant of you. Because for the life of me can’t sort out yours. I tolerate a lot every day. But I know what is in my heart and how it strives to treat all with equality, fairness, kindness and no judgment. And believe me, I understand what I am saying here. I am judging your opinion, belief, but it seems so counter to goodness and kindness and who you say you are.

And maybe I do have a high bar for that for too high. What’s wrong with that? So much of it is so far outside my view of morality and ethical behavior, that I’m beginning to think I’m a conservative. So much of what is happening today, is so counter to how I was raised, in the church and taught by parents to be kind, generous and void of judgment. Treat others as I would like to treated. That seems to have been turned upside down in spades. We are all treating each other like trump treats people.

I believe that trump, morally and ethically, and due to his temperament is not fit for the office. Never have, never will. Even by his own admission and words, he’s not fit.

“I moved on her..”, “I did try to **** her.” “I moved on her like a bitch.” “Just kiss. I don’t even wait.” Good God! Imagine if there had been tapes of Obama saying that!

And let’s not forget that under “allegations” Franken stepped down. Kavanaugh is a lifetime appointment to the highest judicial seat in America. Allegations aside, he lied under oath even before his nomination. Really? That’s ok for a Supreme Court Justice?? No.

I will say without hesitation, it is beyond me how any woman or man who cares about their daughter, sister, wife, mother…can be ok with it and support him or any of it. That I am intolerant of because of what it represents.

Am I being intolerant of you because you think he should and those things don’t matter?

I think we are going to have to be intolerant of each other.

But should I have to be tolerant if I feel that he is destroying the foundation and the fabric of our country, one tweet at a time? It feels that you certainly aren’t.

For me, it’s not tolerance or intolerance. It’s what I believe to be deserving of the office, morally, ethically, equally and what serves ALL humankind.

I screen and interview people every day for jobs WAY below these pay grades. I’ve not moved shoe designers and Project Manager forward for less. They would not have been a good move for the team or the company.

I could say the post feels to me that you are intolerant of those who oppose your opinion of the president and this nomination. Why is your way or opinion the right one for all?

Do I tolerate lying? No. Do you?

Do I tolerate racism? No. Do you?

Do I tolerate slander? No. Do you?

Do I tolerate someone verbally abusing another? No. Do you?

Do I tolerate someone physically abusing another? No. Do you?

Do I tolerate inequity? No. Do you?

Do I tolerate intolerant hypocrisy? No. Do you?

In my humble, not the smartest in the room ever opinion, I have to say or ask, if you tolerate any of those, for what? Why?

I am intolerant.

Phew, don’t think any of that makes sense.

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don't speak...don't speak! rant

Sticking My Neck Out

And I take full responsibility for my words and the consequences they may bring. Because I am certainly not perfect.

I see this posted here and there. That we, “need God in the schools”. We need God here or there.

I don’t think that we need God anywhere other than were he is already, or should be, in the hearts of millions of believers, period.

Would it really make a difference? I think not, since most of the hate and judgement that I see is from those who “quote” God and use him as the platform for a belief system that in my opinion is contrary to the God that I was raised on and learned about in the Christian Church.

I think about my youth and what I believed and what I thought about God, church and people. And I am glad that my Mom, Merle McConnell or whom ever was there to teach and build my foundation for belief were compassionate, open and not closed off or judgmental.

I realize that the path I was on in high school could have sent me in an entirely different direction. I honestly believe that I was on a path to persecute and judge those around me. God only knows why I thought that was my job. So thank you God or whom ever for keeping my mind open and curious and for taking no words for granted.

In my opinion, if we are to be true believers then God says a few things about that. I don’t need to list a line of scripture here because most of you, apparently spend more time in the bible than I do these days. I think you know what I am talking about. Love others as I have loved you. Turn the other cheek. Judge not lest you be judged. But maybe some of you should go back and read the entire book consider the context and the time it was written. But that’s just me.

If we have God in our hearts and minds then how should that translate in how we treat all of God’s children? No, seriously. I’m asking. If we love God, how do you show him your love?

Let me cheat here a little bit here with this quote because I love it!

Screen Shot 2015-09-22 at 5.38.59 PM

So back to my question. Would it really make a difference and what do you mean, we need God in schools or here or there? I was thinking, we added God to the Pledge of Allegiance in the 50’s and look where we are today.

Do we need to have it in front of us all the time to remember? On the wall, in a book, over the door that we or our kids walk through? Flashing at us at every corner like a walk/don’t walk sign? Is that really going to make a difference?

Are we so weak that unless we have it in our face every day like a Kardashian that we are unable to just be the loving, caring, compassionate beings that God created us to be….if he in fact created us?

Here’s more trouble.

If he did create us in his image, how is it that we (or some of us) feel that his image is vengeful and judgmental. That any of us truly no what his intentions were? Go ahead, place scripture reference here.

If we are to believe this, then how is it that we can judge those we know nothing about by actions reported in the media, liberal or otherwise. By nuance or innuendo? Do we blindly believe what others say just because if fits what we think is right or wrong? Oh and don’t get me started on right or wrong! Cause I’m thinking, some of what some of you think as right or wrong, in my opinion are not for you and I to decide.

If we are to believe this(or if I am to believe this), how is is that we believe venomous hateful speech from a few who have been given an open forum to judge, denigrate and splash hate at those different than the skewed version of a human they believe we should all be.

Sometimes I login to that place call Facebook and leave crying for the things I see or read that others have written or shared.

Because if you deem yourself in a position to judge and condemn, in my opinion how can you say you believe in God. Again, not the God I learned about growing up.

Someone said a while back that they where going to worry more about what God thought of them than others here on earth right now. Well, yeah I guess. Since God will judge you on judgement day. Don’t you think that he will look at you and question how you spoke about or treated his other children? To me this is ironic? Or contradictory or actually kinda crazy at best.

If there is a God. I too worry what he will think of me if those gates are real and they are pearly. Will he say, good job! Or will he say, you disenfranchise the poor. Kicked those who were down. Passed judgement on those you knew nothing about. Robbed the poor and stole from the blind. And twisted my words so out of context that I’m even afraid of your judgement of me. Your call I guess based on what kind of God you believe in.

I don’t know anything. Never have, never will. But I have to believe that if there is a God, he wants us to love and care for one another. That there should be no discrimination of that love that all of his children are worthy of that love, just as he has loved us. But what I am I to believe with so many clergy or people who present themselves a Godly are the ones casting the most judgment and just being down right mean. What has happened to them that they have such fear?

I see so much hatred. So much judgement. And for what? No seriously! For what?

I think we need God in our hearts and minds. Act like we are servants of him and treat one another with compassion, kindness and the love we all deserve. Yes, there will be people who will tempt and test you…just remember what Jesus did or said to those who tested and tempted him.

If we are to not believe this, then what are we to believe?

12039179_10153707355584255_3290926224301602928_n

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don't speak...don't speak! rant

Passive Aggressive Post

This place, Facebook is such an interesting place. Is it a true window into the hearts and minds of those you thought you knew? Some you barely know and those you wonder if you really ever knew?

Some days the things I see and read here break my heart. Bring me to tears. And too often are void of the joy that does surround us. How did we get here?

People are different. People have different opinions, beliefs, ideas and ideals.

Now this is just me but some of the opinions I read, I can rarely find facts for. And on a regular basis debunk. Granted some think that the Internet is not the place to find information, (according to a comment on a string I was part of a while back). But it’s what I have. Sure I could go to the library or wherever that individual goes for his info. But I’m lazy so Google and the internets it is. And I read all sides, not just the side I agree with. And I don’t read traditional news resources or outlets. I try to go to the source and vet it if I can. Not always easy.

I also don’t try to imagine that I have any idea what the intent of something written 50, 100 or even 2000 years ago. Hell sometimes I don’t remember the intent of things wrote last month! And I always question if it’s real or truth.

I saw my Naturopath last week and he said, “uh-oh, gloom and doom again”. We worked through it and am working through it. There is an occasional ray of hope! An occasional good thing here or there.

I guess my point of writing this is to ask. Do we really hate at the level I read? Am I too sensitive? Do I need to get over it and let it go? How did our differences turn into such disrespect and hate? What does it say about us, that in my opinion, we write and share hateful, hurtful, disrespectful things?

And yes, I am paying attention. Just so there is no question. But is hate and vitriol the answer?

What if we all just let go and got over it? And moved on! Moved on to what? Maybe we could move onto a kinder, gentler and respectful discourse. A true discourse. A factual discourse with solutions. I can hope or dream can’t I?

The acceptance of what some are saying today is at a level of hatred and disdain that to be honest; I didn’t think we had it in us. To openly discount another human and have millions cheer you? And listen?! I just don’t get it.

Do we become a nation of intolerant, vengeful beings looking out only for me, myself and I? Do we do nothing to help the disadvantaged, the abused, the hungry, the veterans who served and protected because of a few bad apples? Do we kick those who are down as we pat ourselves on the back for being righteous and God fearing? (And there is a whole other topic! Fear God? Not the one I was taught about growing up in church…I digress) How is it that one sentence or partial sentence from the bible gains such momentum and others ignored?

Do we become so blinded by the hate that we can’t even actually have a discussion about solutions because we are lost in name calling, finger pointing and a blame game that is endless and pointless and will never get us anywhere. I guess one would have to actually have a solution. Or be interested in a solution.

What have we come to? What is our intent? Our purpose? If we are to believe this book the bible that so many like to quote. God says love one another. Not just this group or that group, this religion or this race or people from that country. LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU. Ok, so I took one sentence or a version of one sentence and use it to make my point. GUILTY! What does that sentence or concept mean to you?

Again, that’s just my opinion.

And now a promise to not participate in the negative hate and disrespect of anyone. How about you…got solutions or just more posting and sharing of juvenile name calling and factless, untrue stories?

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don't speak...don't speak! rant

Prior to 1954….

Are we better today then before 1954? I wish I had the resources and researchers to do the numbers and find out if we were.

Daily Kos

“I was having dinner with my 82-year old mom last night and we got to talking politics. Tis the season, after all. I don’t remember exactly how this came up, but I think it was in the context of the Republican apoplexy over Democrats dropping reference to God in their party platform and Romney pledging to keep the word God on our coins (’cause I guess that’s a key element of his Jobs Program, or something). My mom said she remembered that as a young girl, the Pledge of Allegiance they recited everyday in school was simply, “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” No mention of God anywhere.

My mom my be old, but she’s not senile, so I assumed her memory was accurate. Still I decided to Fact Check this morning (it’s all the rage these days). A simple search of the tubes confirmed that the words “under God” weren’t added to the Pledge until June, 1954 by a Joint Resolution of Congress.

But just as interesting, if not more so, was the Pledge of Allegiance was originally written back in 1892 by an avowed Christian Socialist who thought Capitalism was “idolatrous and rooted in greed”. That’s right, our nation’s Pledge was written by a stinkin’ Socialist. How’s that for insidious? I don’t suppose too many of our Republican friends know this, or I think we’d be seeing a mass epidemic of spontaneous cranial implosions on the streets by now.

Do you think we should tell them and enjoy the ensuing meltdown, or just smile with smug satisfaction every time we see a Republican reciting the Pledge?”

My Mom, someone I consider very religious says, I got along very well before 1954. So that says to me or makes me think, is this our problem?

Did we hate as we do today? Did we take life for granted as we do today? Do many of us live at a pace that tramples and gives no consideration to those around us? Are we accountable for our contribution to the emotional wake we leave? Did we have easy access to machines that can kill hundreds of people or children just going about their day? Did we individually think that our way was the only way, my way or the highway?

I said it in my last post and will repeat it.

I don’t believe that we need God in the schools for us to be the good descent caring human beings. We are stronger and better than that. Be accountable at home; take care of your own house. We have to be responsible for our families and ourselves in terms of goodness, spirituality and religion. That responsibility lies nowhere else.

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rant

I Am Not Misinformed!

Okay, I’m going to rant a bit! Imagine this writing in all caps…my bark is always worse then my bit. Maybe….

I refuse to claim the title, directly or indirectly of misinformed. Or it being “my fault” that President Obama was re-elected. And most certainly will not accept that I or anyone who voted for President Obama is part of the “dumbing down of America”!

Come on people! Wake up to the evolving ever changing (thank God) world that we live in. Where because of the nature of a country that offers life liberty and the pursuit of happiness, by that statement alone opens doors and yes boarders.

And I refuse to slap a title onto anyone who voted differently that I did. I wish I were that smart. I take that back. I don’t ever want to be or even think that I am that smart, that I can assume that anyone made a misinformed decision because it was different from mine.

I read my eye’s dry most days. A luxury of unemployment. (she says in gest) If only there was a news outlet on television that I could watch that would give me “the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help them God” reporting. One station just talks, one just shows the clips that justify what they want to be the truth, another show shows context but it’s a comedy show.

If the media took an entire statement, start to end and actually analyzed what was said and then was actually given the opportunity to ask questions of the statement and have reasonable expectation that they would actually get an answer. Then we might have something.

I try to read and when I do listen to people, I listen to those who have some sort of background the allows me some level of confidence that they freaking know how to speak on the subject of what they are talking about. And that it’s not based on their own fear of change or personal ideology that in no way supports the nature of this diverse county. I refuse to listen to those in the media who pontificate and spew hatred and fear with no facts or information to back it up their words.

I’m not the smartest person in the room, nor will I ever be. But I am smart enough to know where to find information to make my own informed and God given right to a decision.

Some of the places I go to read and try to understand;
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/
http://online.wsj.com/home-page
http://www.nytimes.com/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ (because it pulls from everywhere)\
http://thehill.com/
http://www.ap.org/
http://www.economist.com/

I watch;
http://www.pbs.org/weta/washingtonweek/
http://www.thedailyshow.com/ (cause I need a laugh and he gives context that I can then go check)

I try to watch;
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032608/
http://abcnews.go.com/ThisWeek/
http://www.cbsnews.com/face-the-nation/

I do not watch shows that base their opinion on the hatred or the demonization of anyone, official or otherwise. I have tried to watch or listen. I can’t stomach it just like I can’t stomach what I’ve been reading this week from people who I believe to be loving and caring individuals. We may have differing opinions, but the lack of respect for those difference to me is destructive.

I will also not blame any “one” person for where we are because I do not believe that any “ONE” person has that much power and singlehandedly got us to this point. That is just being narrow minded and not open to the entire conversation.

Do we not have a House of Representative? Do we not have Congress? The guilt for blame is wide spread and hits more people than I have the time to or care to mention.

What is it you all want? A dictatorship? A county run by one person and one agenda? That is not what we have and certainly what we will ever have as long as the democracy that was created for us years ago is allowed to continue. Please?

Conservative or Republican ideas or ideology have never set well with me. I don’t think that we, by any stretch of any means live in a black and white world. In my opinion Conservatives and the Republican party want a black and white, cut and dried nice little tidy world. We don’t live in a just black and white (literally or figuratively) or tidy world. Change is painful, but always necessary.

It’s not easy. We have to work for it like everything else in our lives. I am that large percentage of the “unmarried woman” who voted for Obama. I have never had or have been in a two-income family or household. Or had a second income to help me through three stents of unemployment. I have family and friends who have graciously helped, but I am in this game all by myself. I am also an uninsured unmarried woman. Because ten years ago I accepted a referral from my MD for a therapist. I’m not insurable. Not crazy or unstable. Very stable I think, considering. Just not enough to be insured. Not something I care to be at the age of 52, uninsured that is.

But I digress.

I can go out and find hundreds of video and words to support my convictions just like the ones I have seen and watched all over Facebook since Tuesday. Video’s, real or otherwise of people taking advantage of systems. People saying incredibly stupid and yes misinformed things.

OF COURSE THAT is what you will find. How about making your point with real ideas of how to change things. How systems can be better monitored instead of blaming one man for everything.

But I choose to find out as much as I can, to read both sides of what is really going on and stay away from any thing that sounds like, looks like or feels like that in four years we will somehow this country will be down the drain.

We don’t talk about the issues we point fingers and blame others for not playing the game the way we want it played. We don’t debate the issues in true debate format so that actual thoughts and ideas can be explained or even completed. We don’t answer hard questions because deep down when we get to what we really for a real solution, the answer is the same and that scares the crap out of us. Really? We believe and want the same thing? I believe that we do, that we all have rights and liberties that we don’t want taken away or changed.

Well guess what folks. The world is changing and we have to let some of it go. I don’t see anything but love in the changes that I see for this country. God forbid that we have a government that projects us from terrorists and financial failure and allows us to live in love and safety.

Why do we vote? We vote because we believe in the system that has been handed down to us for generations. There isn’t a right or wrong an informed or misinformed party. And I am up to my eye balls freaking tired of seeing it and hearing it.

There. I think I’m done.

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rant

If only the power of one, could be that powerful.

I would start a run on banks!

Considering the week I’ve had. Scratch that, the month I’ve had. I think I handled this pretty ridiculous, unbelievable situation very well. Calm, cool and even with, granted probably sardonic, sense of humor.

I needed/wanted $29 cash to buy the book that goes along with the current feature being made where I work ParaNorman, that will be released in August.

I had $8, but couldn’t come up with the extra dollar in change while out and about. So I stopped by Chase in the Pearl to get some cash and change for that extra dollar I needed.

Parked, hit the ATM at the front of the bank and went inside for my change. Ten, five and five ones. Easy right? Wrong.

I’m not a fan of “banks” and have had a credit union account since I worked at one in a former life back in the early 80’s. But with the mortgage comes the “bank”. First at WAMU, then Wells Fargo.

WAMU is now Chase and I had never closed that account. So when they came up with that app that allowed you to take a picture of a check and deposit it, I thought that was worth keeping the account open. I also thought, this could help me budget. Use my credit union account for house, car, insurance type payments, the boring stuff and Chase for the rest.

Today I wanted cash to pay for the book. Guess I should have just taken a check. But who writes checks anymore? So I stopped by the Chase branch in the Pearl, hit the ATM for $40 cash and went inside to the teller to get change for one of the twenties. Again, easy right…wrong!

First I waited a few second, no teller’s. No biggie. Someone comes up behind me chuckling and says, “Guess it’s self service day! Someone will be right with you.” “That’s fine. I say. I’ll take it all in tens!” I wait a few more seconds and a girl comes out to one of the five teller bays.

“I’d like change for a twenty, ten, a five and ones. I need some ones. I say.” She takes my twenty, pulls out a ten, a five and two ones. She says, “I’m sorry I don’t have enough ones.” Pushes the twenty back at me.

I kind of giggle and say, “Really? This is bank, you don’t have money?” “No I’m sorry I don’t”, she says. “Really? I just need five ones, I can’t get five ones?” She calls to a “Chase” behind the wall. No answer. I laugh and say, “ A Chase working here really”, with a smile keeping it light. She says, “Yeah, sorry I don’t have enough ones.” I ask one more time, “You really can’t get me ones?” She calls another name and he peaks around the corner at her and me, no response but continues to stare at me like I had on a mask and a gun in my hand! I was asking for five ones from a bank for God’s sake!

She says, “I can’t access the (she rattles off an acronym pointing to a machine that apparently has all the ones) to get more ones. “I got hit up by a business earlier and they drained me.”

Still in an okay mood at this point, but starting to think, this is ridiculous. I say, this is my bank I just got money from the ATM, really you can’t get me ones?” She says, you can go across the street to US Bank and ask for change there. Like somehow it’s Miracle on 34th St, she’s Macy’s and Gimbels is across the street.

So I step back and say with a question, “maybe I should close my account, but do you have the money if I did that?” “I’m sorry, I just don’t have access to the (≈ƒ´ß†º).” Whatever! I’m not getting my change that’s obvious. But I’m still thinking, really???

I’m certain my perplexing look said more than I was saying. But really, it’s A BANK!

As I walk out I see the guy who tells me it’s “self- service” day. So I say on my way out, “not self-service day, out of ones day. Should I close my account? I just need a one!” A quick re-cap and he pulls money out of his pocket and hands me a one-dollar bill. I tell him, I can’t take your dollar, but I’m having a hard time understanding why I can’t get change at a bank I have an account at, should I close my account?”

This is when he gets a bit huffy and irritated at me and says, “I have five ones, here I’ll give you change, don’t close your account.” And he huffs off. But now giving him the 5, I don’t have the five and I have eight ones, right back where I started. Needing one (1) flipping dollar because I only had about 40 some odd cents in the car and bag combined.

I wasn’t going to close my account. And if I did, it would be NO great loss to Chase. But the attitude and delivery of, “here’s your change, don’t close your account” was the nail in the coffin.

I’m closing my Chase bank account like I should have done years ago. Being able to deposit checks via an app on the iPhone, worthless. As is Chase.

Categories
don't speak...don't speak! rant

I feel like I’ve written this before?

There was a debate this week in the House of Representatives about abortion. Well there probably isn’t a week that the House in is session that there isn’t a debate about abortion.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xasJpDHiwb0[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz5DZJgclKQ[/youtube]

If we are going to demand that every child be born. Then we should demand that each and every one of those children have a good life. If we pass legislation to ban abortion, we must also pass true pro-life, beyond birth legislation. If we are going to take Planned Parenthood down, are we prepared to take care of EVERY SINGLE CHILD BORN? We don’t even do that today!

The studies have been done about how many children are aborted. What is the % of that % that is because of a threat to the life of that child or the mother?

Where is the study of children born into this world today who are not taken care of? Children who go hungry? Children who are abused? Children who are neglected? Children born addicted to drugs? Children who die because of neglect, abuse and malnutrition?

I’m once again reminded of that line in the movie “sex, lies and videotape”, when Ann is at the therapist and she can’t stop worrying about the barge of garbage in the bay.

Ann: Garbage. All I’ve been thinking about all week is garbage. I mean, I just can’t stop thinking about it.

Her therapist asks, what is it that she is really worried about? Does anyone ever have a substantial, meaningful, in-depth conversation about the cause and effect of a decision?

I am pro-choice. But I’m also pro-life. So there! I am however not pro-birth. Which I think is what pro-lifer’s actually stand for. And I didn’t know really how to articulate that until I heard a Benedictine Nun talk about it on Bill Moyers PBS show NOW in 2004. She said;

‎“I’m opposed to abortion.

But I do not believe that just because you’re opposed to abortion that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking. If all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed and why would I think that you don’t? Because you don’t want any tax money to go there. That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.”

Sister Joan Chittister (2004)

Exactly! THANK YOU!

Are there enough homes in America to put children who are born to women not in the position to care for a child? Are there enough families ready to care for a child born to a mother who dies in child-birth because of complications that could have been avoided? Who protects the Mother? Is that not a life? Does she not somehow become defenseless if she is somehow incapacitated due to complications?

Pro-lifer’s. What choice in life that you can freely make are you willing to give up? If you do not have the choice to manage your own body, what next. Well, it’s kind of already started. You’ve had this before so we don’t have to pay for it now. You have in the past asked for help due to depression, we will not insure you. So be depressed, possibly do something to your self that puts you in a coma or persistent vegetative state and someone else can pay for you long term care.

What if we let individuals make choices about their own body, provided everyone health care. Even better, preventative health care and then the raging cost of taking care of the sick might decrease because people aren’t as sick as they used to be. We have created a society dependent on being sick and needing health care. How do we reverse that?

How do we get those we have elected to have the conversations that go beyond the surface or beyond one line of scripture and make the decisions that will take care of all of us an not just who a few think should be taken care of?