Green Parrot

“We need other people, not in order to stay alive, but to be fully human: to be affectionate, funny, playful, to be generous. How genuine is my capacity for love if there is no one for me to love, to laugh with, to treat tenderly, to be trusted by? I can love an idea or a vision, but I can’t throw my arms around it. Unless there is someone to whom I can give my gifts, in whose hands I can entrust my dreams, who will forgive me my deformities, my aberrations, to whom I can speak the unspeakable, then I am not human, I am a thing, a gadget that works but has no ashes. ~Prather

It’s back she said, it was raw and as painful as anything I had heard in a long time. In my mind this isn’t how it was to play out.

Bone cancer.

Chemo, surgery, radiation… it was gone. Now it’s back

FUCK! (sorry Mom)

This is different. I’m lost to don’t know what to do.

I want everyone … to … slow … down.

Let’s not race to the next thing.

Let it wait for us.

Let’s not spread ourselves thin, let’s make it wide.

So what if you are late.

What is it really that we all have to get to?

Where is it that we are going?

And do we really need to hurry?

Stop … Listen … Watch … Breath … Sit.

I love this,
Cleaning for a Reason

I thought I’d try something new. And for me that took a certain amount of bravery.

I recently asked if I could be part of the author set of a local blog. They said yes! Now I have to really pay attention, focus and do some serious writing. Fortunately, they don’t have quota’s or time line’s. You post when you have something or grab a topic and tie in Portland.

Even braver, in my opinion. My first post at OurPDX professionally puts me to task!

I listen to PDXSucks. People who actually love Portland. “We think Portland, Oregon is just about the finest city on the face of the earth. We’re just more than a little frustrated in the path that Portland seems to be taking to become a “big city” and we can’t keep quiet about it anymore.”

I frequently listen later, cause I’m not up at 8. One of my most favorite benefits of unemployment. But I do miss being able to interact in the little chat box with the show by not listening at 8. Today, 12/22, they talked about the death of Brittany Murphy. And I 100% absolutely agree with their conversation. The instant someone famous dies, it starts. Speculation.

Someone died. Someone that because of their profession many people are aware of. This person as they pointed out is some one’s daughter, cousin, niece, granddaughter and friend. And now her family and friends will forever have the week of Christmas when they lost a love one.

Speculation is mean, cruel and an opportunity for focus puller’s to grab some attention. I’ll call it the “Gloria Allred Syndrome”(GAS, how appropriate). People so desperate for attention that they will speculate on something that they can know nothing about in order to get on the news, get a book or the ultimate a show about nonsense on a plethora of cable channels.

How about this, she died. We won’t know the cause of death for 4-6 weeks. At that point if the family is inclined to release the results we will know. And this was her career…list some of her 40 plus movies, “Clueless”, Girl, Interrupted, Sidewalks of New York”, “8 Mile”, “Just Married”, “Sin City”. Or even some of the televisions shows she was in or added voice to, “King of the Hill”.

Brittany Murphy actress and singer born November 10, 1977 died on December 20, 2009. Then list several of her movies and if I were writing this (and I am) discovered in the movie “Little Black Book”, that she can sing. I found her voice quite nice. Then again got to hear her in Happy Feet. And due to a battle over the song rights and now her death, we won’t see her in a biopic about Janis Joplin.

Yes she was a public figure. Yes she chose a career that put her in the spotlight. But she was a person and had a life and a family. Doesn’t that somehow allow her some level of privacy when it comes to the most intimate part of her life? Like her death? It’s times like this that I become embarrassed for some.

Yes, I’m interested in people and what they do, but not to this degree. This is just cruel.

Last time I was unemployed I went to Truthout everyday. That was 2003.

Blog ideas were running through my head this morning and I was headed in a particular direction. Is Twitter a tool for shameless creepy self-promotion? For a few, I say yes. I signed into Twitter, March 30, 2008. At the time I will admit, that I didn’t exactly get it or know what it was, or if I would even use it. Therefore the Twitter handle @jgx. Turns out with the 140-character limit the short handle is perfect.

I don’t follow a lot of people. And I don’t have a lot of follower’s. Which is fine with me. For me it’s not a popularity contest. I don’t need to be popular. In September of 2008 when I really started using Twitter, the race was on. People where nuts!! Falling all over each other to get followers AT all costs. And they took it personally if you didn’t follow them. In some cases (one in particular for me) take great offense to unfollow. I got a curt little note sent to me in facebook after the unfollow. Well I had unfollowed them so how else where they to verbally beat me up one last time?

My opinion, for some Twitter is all about self-promotion. In some cases annoyingly so. For some it has become a tool to help those in need. For some, it is the selfless desire to do something for the greater good. I’m talking about Thirty Hour Day. (previous post)

So I was thinking about what makes people do things like this? What was it that just a few weeks three people decided to have a 30 hour live podcast to raise money for local charity. No really! Just a few weeks ago!

This goodness should be collected and put in a shot and a required immunization.

And a friend from high school on facebook post’s a link to a great article on TruthOut, Bringing the World Out of Denial: The Power of Passion, The Fallacy of Fear. It says what I wanted to say.

The entire article is linked to the title, but I pulled a few paragraphs here.

“In my opinion, there is only one force that can erase this self-protecting, laissez faire attitude towards critical global challenges, or any critical change for that matter: the energy of unbridled passion. This creative force is so powerful that it evaporates fear from the deepest level of the human spirit and can literally change the world.”

“Every one of us is born with this need. This can result in human efficiencies beyond 90 percent. Have you ever engaged in an activity so inspiring that you lost track of time and your desire for food, water or sleep?”

“How do we instill such passion? I think there are three components that must be present. First, and foremost, the challenge must appeal to a person’s need to help the “greater good.”

“People must perceive and believe deep down that they are part of a team that will change the world for the better. That is the magic.”

Creative and innovative people no longer work well under autocratic command and control. That world is gone forever. At this critical juncture, we desperately need a few courageous leaders stimulating people around the planet with the passion necessary to create a safer, more rewarding future for all.”

Magic

Should I have put a question mark after “question” in the title? Or would that have been redundant?

Hmm?

One would think that this would be something I could do. But I find it harder than anything. What is it? Answering that question at the end of an interview, “do you have any questions for us?” That’s me being interviewed for a job. Do “I” have questions?

I had an interview yesterday. It was for a job that could be interesting. It would be a place to pull all of my experience together. I think it would be stable. It is a job that I actually would like to do. And one I can certainly do. There is a bit of a but, it’s with the state and three hours south.

I applied back in October thinking that they would never call me. They called last week for an interview. So off I went yesterday in a rental car. No reason to drag everyone in at this point.

It was a panel interview. Five people, two with the state and three from the community that are involved with the office.

When I interview people I do have a set of questions in mind before we start. But I also want to try to find out how they think and how they have a conversation. So I very often stray from the written questions. And work to have them do all the talking.

Yesterday, like many others they were right on track and did not stray from the questions. They were good questions and they took turns asking them.

The one that always trips me up, “give us an example of a difficult change that you had to implement…?” Life is loaded with drama and difficulty. The last thing I want or need is anything being perceived as difficult. So I don’t create it.

I think I achieve that by not working behind a curtain or veiled in secrecy. Nothing I have done to date has or needs any level of secrecy. It’s what thousands of people do everyday and have done for years. And no one has a unique way or market on the business of recruiting. Guess what everyone, you are all doing exactly the same thing! So there is no reason to not let the people around me know exactly what is going on.

That said, I’d like to think that because of that the space around me is fair and non-threatening. It’s a place that can and would grow leaders. A place that works together not against each other. A place void of difficult scenarios.

So I haven’t had “difficult” changes or situations. I have had challenging situations and changes, but not difficult. Difficult is finding out one of your dear friends has breast cancer. Difficult is finding out one of your dear friends loses her beloved four legged companion of 16 years. Difficult is having dear friends that long for and deserve to be married and recognized for the commitment of 18 years together, but can’t. And fear what that might mean as they grow old together. They have a long way to go, growing old, that’s difficult!

Difficulty in the work place is temporary and unless you have your hand inside someones chest waiting for a heart or another body part, it just doesn’t matter.

Now maybe I’m oblivious, like Portland driver’s, and have no awareness of the wake that I leave behind. But I think I’m pretty in touch and am the first one to know even before the wake begins and stop it.

I don’t know if they will call me back for the second round? I don’t know if I asked them enough questions? But I know what I will do next time. I will ask them the same questions that they asked me. If these will be the people that I will be interacting with on a regular basis, I’ll want to know how they handle difficult change. I’d want to know what their strengths and weaknesses are. To what extent, they think, non-management employee’s should be involved in decisions. What is it they hope the new manager accomplishes in the first six months. And certainly, how do they develop long and short range goals with partners over which they did not have authority.

That’s what I will do next time.

Yes, yet another test of ones ability to commit to something for 30 days. I’ve long said that I have commitment issues. Sure, sure I’ve had jobs for longer than 30 days. I finished high school and college (second time around). But I think my attention span for most everything in my life is, as they say, of a gnat.

Twice now I’ve started NaNoWriMo. Twice now I’ve fallen ridiculously short of 50,000 words. I just plain ole run out of steam, words or imagination. Not sure which. Can’t commit myself to the reason behind that, to busy not finishing other things. I did decide that since the main, or only character in this year’s NaNoWriMo wanted to be a writer that I would combine all the short stories that I’ve written. Including last years. I almost hit 30,000 words. So even cheating I didn’t make it. Maybe I’m destined for the short story circuit?

Last month I discovered National Blog Post Month. Of course, one more thing to try not to finish! So I secretly started yesterday. Actually posted it about 11:57pm. So it doesn’t really count. But I was on the right track.

What I didn’t realize that unlike November, December NaBloPoMo has a theme, MITZVAH. What the hell is that? I’ve been to a Bat and Bar Mitzvah. But by itself does it mean something entirely different? So this much I know, it’s of Jewish origin. So Wikipedia here I come for the full description. “The term mitzvah has also come to express an act of human kindness.” Oh, cool! I think I can put yesterday’s post in that category?

And I think I can write about expressions of human kindness. And it makes me think of the movie, Marvin’s Room. Diane Keaton’s character while picking up pills of the floor, says to Meryl Streep’s character;

Bessie: I’ve been so lucky. I’ve been so lucky to have Dad and Ruth. I’ve had such love in my life. … and I’ve had such…..such love.

Lee: Yes, they love you very much.

Bessie: That’s not what I mean. No. I mean that I love them. I have been so lucky to be able to love someone so much.

What are we missing that we don’t practice more acts of kindness. And not random, all the time! I know, I know! I was thinking the other day that maybe really deep down I’m Pollyanna? Good God!

After almost 49 years and a true understanding of who I am (or think I am) for at least 40 of those, am I really a Pollyanna? People have called me funny, sardonic, but never Pollyanna.

By the way, the movie Pollyanna with Jane Wyman, Karl Malden, Adolphe Menjou and Agnes Moorehead, was made in or released in 1960.

Pollyanna’s philosophy of life centers on what she calls “The Glad Game”, an optimistic attitude she learned from her father. The game consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation.

I took this idea, turned it a bit and suggested it to some friends who have kids. Amazing kids. But the kids are running the house a bit right now. And know exactly how to work it … cause they are so smart! And not just because I know them and love’m, but cause they are smart!

When they want to change the direction of things that seem to not be going their way they get very sad. Well, really don’t we all. They get very sad and say, “I’m sad and I need a hug.” How can you resist that! I can’t. My suggestion was, how about changing that up a bit, “I’m happy and need a hug.”

Last week on Facebook I read this status update;

“I am a Christian and not ashamed to say it!! Let’s see how many people on FB aren’t afraid to show their love for God and accept Jesus as our Savior! Each time you see this on someone’s status, say a quick prayer for that person!! Let’s get God back in this country like He should be!!! If you agree, post this in your…”

I decided to re-write it, but didn’t post it for fear of offending the small handful of friend who also put in on their status update.

I grew up in the church. A liberal Christian Church. So liberal that in high school after getting involved in a religious group at school I got annoyed with church. It was too casual. I struggled with the cute light stories told in an effort to help everyone understand the stories in the bible. I wanted to study the bible. I wanted to know what this guy up front knew about that book, that the more I read the less I understood. I wanted to know what the bible said, what it meant for that time. I’m not the smartest person in the room ever, but I felt like I was being talked down to and it annoyed me. This didn’t seem like casual stories or times and demanded a more serious dialogue.

So I went off to college and stopped going to church. No real reason, I just didn’t go. I don’t think my thinking or thoughts on religion changed in either direction. I just wasn’t interested.

As the years passed I read about a lot of different religions. I can’t say today that I participate in any sort of organized religious events. I’ve read about and looked at Judaism, Sufism; I read and studied A Course In Miracles and Buddhism. I like reading Elaine Pagels, Karen Armstrong and recently Joan Chittister. I started reading Chittister, a former Nun because of what she said on Bill Moyers.

“The fact of the matter is that they’re all in contention with something else which is also a moral value and also equally important unless you put it completely out of your mind or your heart. For instance, let’s look at the abortion question. I’m opposed to abortion.

But I do not believe that just because you’re opposed to abortion that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking. If all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed and why would I think that you don’t? Because you don’t want any tax money to go there. That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.“ NOW 11.12.04

“That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-birth.” Exactly!

But I’m getting off topic. Big surprise!

I like the history of the bible as history, real or otherwise. It doesn’t really matter to me which. Because it was written so long ago for so many reasons that NO one will ever know. Try as they might, I just don’t see how anyone can have any idea of the intentions of someone that long ago.

So I don’t have any particular religious or spiritual traditions. But I do read a lot of Pema Chodron. My thoughts and ideas tend to align with Buddhism and I’ve often thought of serious study of this religion.

Anyway, I re-wrote that Facebook status and hope that if any of you reading are the ones who put this on your status that you are not offended. It’s just my take, and in no way is meant to devalue your beliefs.

I am a human and not ashamed to say it!! Let’s see how many people on FB aren’t afraid to show their love for humans and accept each and everyone as they are! Each time you see this on someone’s status, think of all the goodness that exists!! Let’s get compassion in this country like it should be!!! If you agree, post this in your status update – Charter For Compassion , just copy and paste.

I like my life right now. As I said to someone the other day, I’m pretty happy, but I can’t afford to be this happy. Now in terms if happy, that’s a sliding scale. With the help of a small yellow pill I would say on a scale of 1 to 10, on a daily basis I’m running a strong 7.1. O.k., I couldn’t use a straight number and I almost said 1 to 11 or 13 to make it more challenging. I’ve always felt a little uninterested in that type of thing. Especially that one, “on a scale of 1-5.” What a cop out. Someone should run a check on how often the 3 is checked. That means nothing. Make a decision! Grow some and check the 2 or the 5 or yeah even the 1. Be honest. Think about it, really? What if we are honest all of the time? People wouldn’t be so shocked when they find out they really aren’t good at something and then the workplace might be a nice place to go to everyday. And if everyone were honest, I’m thinking that the behind the scenes banter would be limited. (well maybe not ~ but I can hope) If you are straight up honest and open with everyone, what is there to talk about? I can hear it now, “I am so not good at this. Can you believe she told me I wasn’t good at that, then asked me to do this … which I love!”

Today the Charter For Compassion was unveiled.

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

A few weeks ago I got an email from Carl. I don’t know Carl. But he had been reading my blog and asked if I would share a link to his site on my blog.

I’m always a bit embarrassed when this happens. I’m happy to include great blogs on my blog roll! But to include mine on his? It’s so random and hasn’t really taken shape yet, in my opinion.

I guess I’d like to think that only a couple people even know that I do this and only a couple people actually read it, like my Mom and Tiny Elvis Girl. Even more than that, that it’s not something that people can find.

Carl does have an interesting site called, Smart Unemployment . The site has some great stuff on it. Things like unemployment eligibility, career resources, COBRA: Everything You Need to Know, information that can be really helpful!

Oh, the title of this post. I cut and pasted that directly from a job posting on LinkedIn. This is a HUGE pet peeve with me.

I realize that people are busy. I realize that for every job there are most likely hundreds of applicants. I realize that companies don’t often staff adequately so that recruiters or hiring manager can really do their jobs. But this says more to me. More than just I’m too busy to truly engage the applicant pool that might be interested in working for the company I work for. Resumes are words, but to hear some ones voice and to talk with them has value beyond the gold star your applicant tracking system give someone.

I have been in one form or another a recruiter for more than 15 years. I have worked to fill jobs with 4 applicants and 400 applicants. The best applicants that I have come to know and place in positions are the ones who reached out to me or contacted me directly.

I am unemployed. I think I’ve written that here already. I’ve applied to several jobs. I have tapped and tap my network at every opportunity when applying to positions. At the advice of or encouragement of another recruiter or individual I have reached out via direct email or phone to people who are doing the hiring. No response?

Carl has a lot of great, helpful information on his site. All just for the taking. I don’t know this for a fact, but I’d be willing to bet he never wrote at the bottom of a job posting, DO NOT CONTACT ME DIRECTLY – I WILL NOT RESPOND

Thanks Carl!